J.P. or Ben? The most buzzed-about question of the day will finally be answered tonight in the season finale of The Bachelorette. Redbook's office is torn between J.P.'s adorable smile and demure demeanor and Ben's boyish charm and pensive side.
But the real question on our mind's here at Redbook is what exactly is it about this show that has us all so hooked? Is it the voyeuristic quality of being able to peer into one woman's pursuit of finding "the one?" Does it bring us back to those first-date butterflies, palpitating hearts and clammy hands when we met our man? Or do we just like being whisked away on elaborate dates alongside Ashley (and okay, kind of wishing we could just jet off to Fiji)?
We surveyed some Redbook readers to find out what has them addicted and the two biggest sentiments you expressed seem to be:
"The places that they travel! Beautifulscenery!" - Dottie Davies Mahoney
"I'm a sucker for romance and I'm always heartbroken when the couples don't make it in the end!" - Juli-An Richard Placek
But some of you voiced your concerns over the show. As Susan Sheller put it, "How could you date 20 guys at the same time on tv for millions to know your business? Love is private between 2 people. It's not a show you put on. It's real."
Curious to find out more, we decided to turn to the experts and talk to New York Times best selling author of "She Comes First" and therapist, Ian Kerner, PhD, to weigh in for us.
As Ian explains, "I think this craze has to do with the idea that all of these men are suitors while the woman is now in control to make the final decision. A lot of the time, this power dynamic is reversed where women don't always have that power and control over men. Also, it's interesting to watch because while men tend to pursue women based on physical and visual cues, women make relationship decisions based on multiple cues, so it's fascinating for women to see how another woman sizes all these men up."
Perhaps the opposite gender put it best when Bret—though hard-pressed to admit it, an avid viewer himself—33, told us, "We all like to think we are great judges of character and know what type of person is best for someone. So, it's entertaining to be presented with random people and judge who we believe is best for the bachelorette. And then, of course, there is a certain satisfaction in seeing the people you like advance and those you don't like get kicked off. It's almost as if it's some kind of validation of one's own ability to judge others! And I'm sure the ladies don't mind all the eye candy either..."
Posted in: Sex and Love