Duties of a Bridemaid

A bridesmaid's duties run the gamut from helping with bridal showers to registering and dress shopping. During the engagement, it's natural that most of your conversations and outings will center around the impending wedding. Though it's important to accommodate the bride, you may need to set boundaries so that she doesn't deplete your time and money for her wedding needs.

1. • 1
     Help the bride to scout possible locations for the wedding. Dedicate two days to go with the bride and visit possible venues. Spend about one hour a week helping her search online if she is having a hard time finding the right spot. Tell her you can't dedicate any more time because of your busy schedule, but perhaps another bridesmaid or the maid of honor could step up.
   • 2
     Accompany the bride when shopping for bridesmaid dresses. Two shopping trips with the bride are sufficient. When the dress is chosen, attend all dress fittings on time. It's not necessary to accompany the bride during her gown search or to attend her dress fittings.
   • 3
     Listen attentively when the bride seeks your advice on the seating chart, flowers, favors and song selections. Answer honestly without getting invested in the outcome. If the bride decides not to take your advice, remember that she is the one getting married. The more emotionally invested you act, the more the bride may demand from you.
   • 4
     Set financial boundaries around obligations such as the wedding shower and bachelorette party. Voice your opinion on cost and activities. If you can't splurge for a weekend getaway with the girls, apologize and wish everyone well. Do not get talked into spending more money than you have, just to appease the bride. If activities arise that make you feel uncomfortable, such as a trip to an adult entertainment venue, stand your ground and do something else during that time.
   • 5
     Converse on other topics besides the wedding. This shows the bride that you have other interests and, while you are there for her, your life is full and interesting as well. Talk about the wedding often and be excited together, but limit the conversation so that you remain an equal in the friendship.
   • 6
     Accommodate the bride when she asks you to help with errands. If she needs you to take her dress to the cleaners after the wedding, do so, but don't pay the bill. When guests decide at the last minute to stay overnight near the reception, offer suggestions on where to go, but don't take responsibility for booking the rooms. Help out where needed, but remember that it is ultimately the bride's responsibility to take care of her guests.
   • 7
     Expect thoughtful communication from the bride. Directions to venues, times of events and what the bride will need on her wedding day need to be communicated directly to the bridesmaids. There should be no surprises or last-minute changes that only some of the bridesmaids are privy to. Your time, not just the bride's, is valuable and should be respected.

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